Fish be with you

I played hooky today. My "to do" list was giving me the eye. A little voice inside my head was begging me to stay and reconsider. "Listen," it said, "you have proposals to send out, articles to write... and oh, you really have to go to the gym because you missed working out yesterday... and..." Gzzttt! I switched it off before it can continue prattling about the 1,001 things I had to do without delay. After all, I made up the list and the deadlines myself. It's one of the things I continue to do, even on slow days, just to make sense of my life and give me something to wake up for.

But today was different. I woke up feeling a tad more buoyant than usual. Buoyancy gave way to restlessness. And then to dread -- the thought of spending the day at home, pounding on the keyboards and sitting for hours on end in front of my laptop filled me with disdain. Even the idea of hauling myself off to the gym for some much needed sweating out seemed lackluster, at least for today. My lower back has been aching from the long stretches of desk work. And the day unfolding threatened to be unusually infernal, another of those 37 centigrade afternoons that turns Manila into a sauna. I love my home office but today is not a day for romancing my Mac. I had to go out. For my health. For my creativity. For my sanity.

So off I went, camera in tow, braving the two-hour traffic and infernal heat on the road that brought me to Manila Ocean Park. It was my first time to go. I've always wanted to but I listened too much to the little voice in my head and never ran out of work to do. Today was different. Today, I got out of the rut.

It was the best decision I've made in a long time. Giving in to my inner child was such a joy! I went straight to the Oceanarium and beheld a treasure trove of aquatic life nurtured within its watery womb. I've been to aquariums in Chicago and San Francisco, but this is not a time to compare what is bigger or better. I'm happy just to see species of fish that are actually alive! To know that these lovely creatures won't be blown up, hauled in a net, end up in a tank at a Chinese restaurant or become kinilaw for drunkards by the seashore. They are alive and they are all so beautiful!

As I lingered in every hall, slowly moving from tank to tank, I prayed for all the marine life nestled within each of the glass aquariums. I thanked God for creating such diverse creatures and expressed my gratitude for allowing me to "meet" them. Then I prayed that their kind will not be driven to extinction by the greed and folly of human beings like myself. I asked our loving Creator to forgive us for our ignorance and for our cruelty in how we have treated the other living creatures He has made to inhabit this planet.

I took out my camera, careful not to use a flash and gently reminding others who have not turned theirs off. It was difficult to capture clear images in such low light conditions, but what the heck -- I left the little voice of perfectionism at home, together with the other little voice that nagged me to work. My time. Breathe. My space. Breathe. My pace.

It took me all of an hour and a half to go through the entire Oceanarium. Several times, I would literally sit and stare at the tanks, watching the different colors, shapes, sizes and behaviors of the aquatic life within. Under the lambent glow of the waters above and around me, I felt serenity rest on my shoulder, light as a butterfly. The more I relaxed, the more I felt my creativity surging. Fresh ideas swam inside my head but I was careful not to be lured by them. I brought my attention back to the present moment and continued gazing at the fish... There must be a good reason why the fish was a symbol of Christ for the early Christians, I wondered. My mind briefly began searching through its archives for the reason, as I'm sure I've read it somewhere. But I caught myself. Sorry, I won't go there either. Not today.

I didn't need to accomplish or to know anything today. You know what they say about how short the memory of fish is? It serves them well. I'd like to be the same, just for today.

Fish be with you.